Just about everyone can recall feeling completely inadequate just by seeing someone else totally killing it.
Sometimes this happens when we see someone who’s just a little ahead of us.
Our minds trick us into believing we aren’t as good, or good enough, since we aren’t already there killing it, too.
What a terrible feeling! It’s often referred to as the Comparison Trap because that’s exactly what it is...a trap!
In this video, I talk about how awful the Comparison Trap is, and what to do if you find yourself there. Take a look!
Anytime you judge yourself based on someone else’s (perceived) success it is based in fear.
That is why there is no scenario in which the Comparison Trap is good for you.
The Comparison Trap allows fear to be the voice of reason. So uncool.
So, you’ve found yourself in the Comparison Trap and your mind is spinning.
What do you do?
Give up? Stop your business/blog/being a mom/wife/friend/fill in the blank just because it seems like someone is already doing it all, and better than you?
The good news is that there is a way out, but it might take a little intention.
Here’s what to do next time you find yourself stuck in the Comparison Trap:
Shut it down. Stay off of social media, avoid blogs or posts that commonly make you crazy with comparison.
Acknowledge and admit that what you are seeing, and ultimately comparing yourself to, is someone else’s highlight reel -- snippets of someone else’s best moments or their best self - the image they want the world to see. You have no way of knowing what happens after the camera goes off, or what it took them to get to where they are today. This is a great reminder that things are not always what they seem. It isn’t fair or reasonable to compare yourself to the best highlights of someone else’s life because ultimately, it has nothing to do with you!
Meet it with gratitude instead of negativity. (This is the best advice given to me about avoiding the Comparison Trap). Whenever you see a someone else do, have, or accomplish something you want to, look at it as evidence of what is possible. If someone else is doing it, there is a reason for it to exist, and it is proof that you can do it too.
Say thank you. Get out of the habit of feeling negatively toward the person or people you typically compare yourself to. Instead, (silently, to yourself), thank them for showing you what’s possible. When you make this your habit, you truly change from coming from a place of fear to a place of gratitude. Then, you’ll be able to enjoy feeling more calm, more confident, and you’ll be able to make room to bring passion into your work and to truly do what brings you to life.
I think we can all agree that the Comparison Trap is not helping anyone. Get out there and focus on you, or as they say, do you.
Have you ever found yourself in the Comparison Trap? How do you get out? Let me know in the comments below.
Keep doing what you love.